Signs of a Dysregulated Nervous System (And Why It Matters for Fertility)
You might not use the words "nervous system dysregulation." But you know the feeling.
You're exhausted but can't sleep. You're overwhelmed by things that shouldn't be a big deal. You can't remember the last time you felt truly calm. Your body feels like it's running on a frequency that's slightly off, and no amount of rest seems to reset it.
If you're also trying to conceive, this matters more than you might realize. Your nervous system directly affects your fertility. When your body is stuck in survival mode, it deprioritizes reproduction.
This is what it feels like when your nervous system is stuck.
What Is Nervous System Regulation?
Your autonomic nervous system operates below conscious awareness. It regulates your heart rate, digestion, breathing, and stress response. It determines whether your body is in a state of safety or a state of threat.
A regulated nervous system moves flexibly between states. Stress activates you, then you return to baseline when the stress passes. You can ramp up when needed and settle down when it's over.
A dysregulated nervous system gets stuck. It loses the ability to return to baseline. You stay activated even when there's no immediate threat. Or you crash into exhaustion and can't get back up. Or you cycle between the two without ever finding the middle.
Research published in Psychoneuroendocrinology has shown that chronic nervous system dysregulation affects cortisol patterns, inflammatory markers, and immune function. This isn't a character flaw. It's a physiological pattern that develops for real reasons. And it can change.
What Are Signs of Nervous System Dysregulation?
Nervous system dysregulation shows up differently in different people. Some run hot, stuck in overdrive. Some run cold, stuck in shutdown. Many alternate between both.
Signs your system is stuck in overdrive (sympathetic dominance):
Feeling wired but tired, exhausted but unable to rest
Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
Startling easily at loud noises or unexpected interruptions
Feeling on edge, like you're waiting for something bad to happen
Inability to sit still; doing nothing feels uncomfortable or intolerable
Feeling rushed even when there's no deadline
Chronic muscle tension, especially in your neck, shoulders, jaw, or hips
Heart racing or chest tightness without a clear cause
Irritability or reactivity; small things trigger big responses
Relying on caffeine, sugar, or adrenaline to function
Signs your system is stuck in shutdown (dorsal vagal dominance):
Feeling foggy, disconnected, or numb
Trouble motivating yourself; everything feels like too much effort
Exhaustion no matter how much you sleep
Feeling detached from your body or your life, like you're going through the motions
Difficulty feeling emotions, either positive or negative
Withdrawing from people and activities you used to enjoy
Feeling heavy, slow, like you're moving through mud
Trouble concentrating or remembering things
Signs you're cycling between both:
Swinging between anxious and exhausted, sometimes on the same day
Pushing hard until you crash, then dragging yourself back up and pushing again
Feeling like you have two modes: overdrive and collapse
Unpredictable energy; some days you can do everything, other days you can barely function
Why Does Nervous System Dysregulation Happen?
Your nervous system learns from experience. It adapts to what it encounters. If it's encountered a lot of stress, it adapts to stress.
Chronic stress shifts your baseline. If you've spent years managing high demands, your system recalibrates. What was once an activated state becomes your new normal. You no longer recognize it as stress because it's all you know.
Trauma sets the system on alert. Research in the Journal of Traumatic Stress has shown that trauma changes how the nervous system operates. The threat may have passed years ago, but your body still responds as if danger is present. This can happen with obvious traumas or with accumulated smaller ones that never got processed.
Early experiences shape the system. Research in Development and Psychopathology has demonstrated that if you grew up in an unpredictable or unsafe environment, your nervous system may have developed in a vigilant state. Safety never became your default.
Achievement culture reinforces dysregulation. Pushing, performing, and producing are rewarded. Rest is seen as laziness. You may have trained yourself to override your body's signals for years.
The result is a nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do. It's not broken. It's adapted. But the adaptation is no longer serving you.
How Does Nervous System Dysregulation Affect Fertility?
A dysregulated nervous system isn't just uncomfortable. It affects your fertility directly.
Research published in Human Reproduction found that women with elevated stress biomarkers took 29% longer to conceive. Studies in Fertility and Sterility have shown that chronic stress can suppress GnRH, disrupting the entire hormonal cascade that governs ovulation and implantation.
Here's what happens in a dysregulated state:
Sleep suffers. Your body can't drop into deep restorative sleep if it doesn't feel safe, so you stay in lighter sleep stages and never fully recover. Research in Sleep Medicine Reviews has linked poor sleep quality to reduced fertility.
Digestion is compromised. The parasympathetic system governs digestion, so if you're stuck in sympathetic mode, your digestion suffers. Bloating, constipation, IBS, and food sensitivities are common.
Hormones are disrupted. Research in Psychoneuroendocrinology has shown that chronic stress affects your entire hormonal cascade. Cortisol stays elevated. Thyroid function is impacted. Reproductive hormones are disrupted.
Inflammation increases. Prolonged stress suppresses immune function and increases inflammation, which research in the American Journal of Reproductive Immunology has linked to implantation failure.
Reproduction is deprioritized. Your body deprioritizes reproduction when it's in survival mode. Blood flow shifts away from reproductive organs. Ovulation can be affected. Implantation becomes harder.
For many women struggling to conceive, nervous system dysregulation is the missing piece that standard fertility treatment doesn't address.
Why Don't Standard Approaches Work?
If you've tried meditation apps, breathing exercises, and bubble baths without success, you're not doing it wrong. Those approaches assume a regulated baseline. They're designed to help you return to calm from temporary stress.
But if your system has been dysregulated for years, there's no calm baseline to return to. You can't think your way to regulation. You can't force relaxation. Your body needs something different.
Research in Frontiers in Neuroscience has shown that forcing yourself to relax can actually increase stress markers if your nervous system has learned that letting down your guard is dangerous. The resistance you feel isn't weakness. It's your system trying to protect you.
What Actually Helps Regulate the Nervous System?
Nervous system regulation isn't about trying harder. It's about building capacity for safety, gradually, through approaches that work with your body.
Acupuncture directly affects the autonomic nervous system. Research in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine has shown that acupuncture shifts the body from sympathetic to parasympathetic dominance. For many women, it's the first time they've experienced what genuine settling feels like. Over time, it helps establish a new baseline.
Somatic work, working with the body directly through sensation, breath, and gentle movement, can release patterns that talk therapy can't reach. The nervous system responds to body-based input.
Small doses of stillness. Rather than forcing yourself into 30 minutes of meditation, you start with moments. A few breaths. A pause. You build tolerance for stillness slowly.
Co-regulation. Nervous systems regulate in relationship. Being with a calm, grounded person can help your system settle in ways that solitary practices cannot. This is one reason why the therapeutic relationship matters as much as the techniques.
Life changes. If you're still living in chronic stress, nervous system work has limits. Sometimes the healing requires changes in your life, not just your practices.
What Does Treatment Look Like?
A 38-year-old patient came to see us after trying to conceive for over a year with no explanation. Her tests were normal. Her cycles were regular. Her doctor said to keep trying.
But when we talked, the picture became clear. She'd been running on stress for as long as she could remember. She described herself as someone who couldn't slow down.
Her symptoms had been building for years. Insomnia that left her exhausted no matter how much time she spent in bed. Digestive issues she'd learned to live with. Chronic neck and shoulder tension. A low-level anxiety humming in the background of everything she did.
She'd tried meditation apps, yoga classes, therapy, and supplements. Some things helped briefly, but nothing shifted the underlying pattern. She still felt like her body was running at the wrong speed.
When we assessed her, the pattern was clear. Her nervous system was stuck in overdrive and had been for years. She'd adapted so completely that she didn't know what baseline felt like anymore. And her body, stuck in survival mode, wasn't prioritizing conception.
We started with acupuncture twice weekly. At first, it was hard for her to lie still. Her mind raced. Her body felt restless on the table. We worked slowly, letting her system adjust to stillness in small doses.
After about four weeks, something shifted. She started falling asleep during sessions. She reported sleeping better at home, feeling rested for the first time in years. The background anxiety began to quiet.
Over the next few months, we continued weekly. Her digestion improved. The chronic tension softened. She described feeling like she was meeting a version of herself she hadn't seen in years.
She conceived five months after starting with us. She told us later that she finally felt safe in her own body. That was the shift that mattered.
Read how other women have experienced this work →
Your Next Step
If you recognize yourself in this article and you're trying to conceive, your nervous system may be stuck in a pattern that willpower and weekend self-care won't resolve. We can help you understand what's happening and create a path toward genuine regulation.
This is the heart of our Embody & Heal path. Our Embodied Fertility Coaching program helps women move from survival mode to a state where conception can happen.
Contact us at 212.432.1110 or info@fafwellness.com.